Okay so something you might not expect about me if you know my background is that I HATE dancing in front of people. I can do it if it’s for a show I’ve been rehearsing for for months, but if you want me to just dance for you, no way.
Well the other day I mentioned that I had a background in dance to some of my friends. Actually, I said that I should be much better at it than I am for the amount of classes I have taken, then I went on to say how much dance experience I had. I knew this was a mistake and would somehow come back to bite me. People should have zero expectations for my dancing abilities.
But then, of course, it happened.
My friend Gabe is working on a film project documenting this trip, and he needed some footage of something that he could do a voice over of, and asked me to dance for it. I wanted to say absolutely not, but knowing his heart for this project I told him I would pray about it.
I felt God urging me to do it, so I said yes, secretly hoping we wouldn’t have time for it or that he would come up with a new idea. But it did happen. The entire time I kept telling God that I felt so silly, knowing that I didn’t look the way it “should”. I kept wishing that my sister was here and could do it instead. But with every doubt I internally cried out to Him, I heard Him say back, “die to your fear of man” and, “I can make something beautiful out of you” echoing the song I had had in my head the days before.
After I finally accepted this, my prayers changed to, “let this somehow be used for Your glory.” And with Gabe’s assurance that it wasn’t a waste of time and he got some content he liked, I decided to rest in the promise that God would make something beautiful out of it.
A few days later Gabe had edited some of the footage and showed it to a few people on the squad. Later on when one of those people were praying for me she said that she kept being reminded of the video of me dancing and that it radiated God’s glory. She didn’t know that that had been my prayer, God is just that faithful.
I knew going into this trip God was going to work me through whatever fear I have left of what people think of me, and I know that this is just the beginning of that refinement. It’s still so surprising to me that I let someone I’ve only known in person for a month watch me dance, let alone film me, and I still think that dancing is a generous term for what I was doing. I know though that God will use it for good, and I can’t wait to share Gabe’s project with you because he’s seriously talented and really passionate about it.
