Saying Goodbye to All But One (How My Life Has Changed)

I’m sitting on the floor in front of my bunk bed listening to the sound of rain and the song “I wanna leave this house singing” playing in my head. This song has been significant for my team since our squad leader shared it with us, telling us how it was an anthem for her at the end of her race. 

The idea of leaving this house, the race, singing has stuck with us, and has spoke to us in different moments of sweet joy with community or moments when we would honestly be back in the states in our separate houses. At the time of me writing this there are only 15 days before I say goodbye to 23 who have seen my best, worst, highs, and lows. People I’ve held while crying and people who have held me. These are people who have been through it all with me these past 9 months. Saying goodbye is probably going to near break my heart. 

 

Thankfully though, I don’t have to say goodbye to  one of the friends I’ve gotten to know really well. To prevent this from being even more cheesy than it already is I’ll go ahead and say it’s Jesus, God the Father, the Holy Spirit, they are three in one though so I count them as one friend. If I had to use one sentence to sum up my race, it would be “I learned that God wanted to be my friend, and how to be His friend.” One of my most vivid memories from training is from having a meeting with my coaches and them telling me that the deep desire I had for friendship with my squad was the same as the desire of friendship that God has for me. This statement has changed my perspective on my relationship with God drastically. I don’t question if God wants to hear from me, I understand now that what I do affects God and His heart, and I get to have fun with Him in everything I do now. 

 

I can’t imagine my life within His comfort and company, and because of His unending love, I will never have to be without Him.